I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
