You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
