He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
