Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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