:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
