I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm getting married
To pizza
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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