Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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