To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
