He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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