Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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