May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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