Small penises have feelings too.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We left the knife in your bed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
