remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're like the curious george of whores
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
