In the future we'll all be gay
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
