so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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