Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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