Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
