the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
