I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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