And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
