don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
