so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
