we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
