I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
