We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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