I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
