Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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