I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
