writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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