That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
