you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
