Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
