doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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