Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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