I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
