the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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