I am puke
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize