Define "chronic" masturbator.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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