there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
