I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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