I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
