You made me cry and you don't even care
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
