WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
