Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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