I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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