Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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