Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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