There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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