I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just had sex on a roof
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize