I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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