Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
