Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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