In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
