We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My dick has a subreddit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
