That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I touched a dick in church today
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
