Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
