addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
