For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
