look no pants
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
